70th trip around the Sun - update

May 24, 2012

My upcoming 70^th birthday has been on my mind for at least the last six months.  I’ve been keenly aware that the end is near – at least I hope it is. When I look at pictures of the “kidlets” taken six short years ago I come face to face with the fleeting nature of time.  In one of my most recent projects, translating Alla’s book from French, I can see a huge picture of humanity that staggers my mind.  Alla’s book traces her ancestors back to just before the first millennium detailing thousands of people and their struggles to live and order their lives.  Each was born struggled and died.  I remember when my dear father got close to the end he had a desire to divest himself of possessions.  My thoughts are in that direction as well.

My world is closing in and I am happy with that.  I really do not want to go anywhere except home.  I am happy doing my projects, knitting, spinning, writing and tidying up my lifelong genealogy project.

This morning I finished reading Carl Sagan’s book “Contact”.  I think I needed it at just this time in my life.  It’s been on the shelf unread for years, but as always Sagan has helped put things in perspective.  I am a mote on top of a pile of motes going back and forward forever.  My life has been much better than most and my problems pale.  Just as I needed the words I found the above quote from Anne Frank.

The past year has been emotionally tough.  No good is served by rehashing a story that everyone knows.

As always, I have sought to know the truth.  I’ve also tried to share hard won knowledge. 

It’s inconceivable to me that Sarah Palin and Fox News still represent information to so many individuals.  The hypocrisy of the Republican Party is stupdifying.  I fear for our country and the future for the “Kidlets”.  I fear the divisiveness of the Catholic Church that has no business interfering in government and would do well to govern themselves. An institution so full of the rot of child molesters has no standing in my eyes.  Ask yourself what would Jesus say or think to see the pope, bishops and priests marching around in splendor will ignoring the poor and abused?  

I fear that relying on The Bible as the unerring word of God will ultimately be civilizations’ undoing.  The Bible is an anthology of tales written by people with little knowledge of science and it is used to control people and marginalize a huge segment of the population.  It is full of hatred and wrath.  Thomas Jefferson discovered that over two hundred years ago.

My faith is rooted not in fear of punishment, but rather in seeing how I can be helpful.  I get great pleasure performing good works in secret.

I have no idea how many more birthdays lie ahead.  I know for sure that I’ve accomplished all I’ve ever dreamed of doing and if this is my last birthday I am content. I could leave this life easily. I am certain that I will never seek to cling to life.  I guess I am getting ready.

I am sure I will never win the lottery as I’ve had my chance at luck and struck gold.  Lexus gave me a brand new car this year.  Quelle surprise!

I am enormously grateful to have had the advantage of computers and the internet.  When I look back at how genealogy was done in 1976 when I started I am amazed at the technology we have today.

One last item.  I’m reading “The Edge of Infinity” and it suggests that huge leaps are on the horizon.  We must drop our fear and hypocrisy as we march forward.
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

Today is October 12^th 2012 and I am three months into my 70^th trip around the sun. I have survived, but it has been a roller coaster ride and I am hoping to coast gently to the end from here.  A great joy for me was helping Mark and Page find a home that appears perfect.  I always like doing this and the personal experience was fascinating and rewarding.  We’ve come a long way from the old days of MLS when all information was controlled.  Now it is possible to almost buy a home sight unseen on the internet.  Page and the children came for a six week visit while they await their furniture.  It was a magical time to see the three oldest girls so enthusiastic about sewing and knitting.  The baby is very sweet and no trouble at all.  Daniel almost killed himself by pulling over a heavy lamp and my house is a chaotic mess.  Add to that the virus we all developed and the days of misery and it’s fair to say the visit was not uneventful.

The girls are thrilled with their new rooms and eager to decorate them.  While they were here I completed my “Doodles Cute Wair” knitting book and the girls made several successful pieces.

I sought something momentous to mark July 16^th 2012 and it was that day that I signed my non-disclosure agreement with Audrey in anticipation of helping her publish Fred’s book on Sarah Palin. (looking back from October I must report that the project withered on the vine.)  However, a new memorial raised its head in the form of the Coral Reef Project.  When I learned that it was to be dismantled and sold off piece by piece, I offered to buy a large section and donate it to the Great Explorations Children’s Museum.  This is a very suitable marker for my 70^th birthday.

Kelly was born July 9^th.  It was a difficult situation for me, but it seems that was more in my mind than in fact.  She is a lovely child and may be the best of the bunch.  This summer I pulled my spinning project together and sent it off to Vermont.  Haven’t had any door buster sales yet, but I am having fun imaging solutions to tags, advertising and display

July 4^th was a red letter day with the confirmation of the Higgs Boson particle.  I am greatly saddened to hear my daughter say she doubts the theory of evolution, but I must press on.  Science not superstition will be our savior if there is any.

I finally pulled the Affaired d’Art Chihully project off to benefit the Museum of Fine Arts and some of our finer glass pieces have been on six month display celebrating the 50^th anniversary of the Art Glass movement.

I continue to read with one of my favorites being “Catherine the Great”.  In addition I discovered that I have a better knowledge of French than I realized.  I interpreted Alla’s genealogy for her.

As is my habit I looked for another human being to help – someone from whom I expected nothing.  This year is was Mark Guidici – the gentleman who came to repair appliances and was a bit depressed.  I wrote his resume for him and suggested advertising tactics.  I continued to encourage Dena my manicurist and she continues to hold on.

Of course the visit last fall of Page and the children was a blessing and a strain – but that is life.  The surprise of it threw my life into a tornado that only now six months later has seen the debris settle.  Her unexpected pregnancy and the secrecy of it caused me to seek professional help.  Through my doctors and friends I learned that her actions were based on the sure knowledge that I would never abandon her.  In a way I suppose my sufferings were a privilege that only a mother can receive.  The pregnancy caused me to reexamine the issue of birth control and the Catholic Church.  I intend to write extensively on the topic elsewhere as I am in the process of research.  The most revealing and shocking is “In The Name of God” by David Yallop

My health is good but each day I note obituaries and know that one day my time will be up – I am ready.  My biggest regret is the emotional trauma the kidlets will suffer when they come to know, as I did, that their religion is full of politics and corruptions.  I do not say this lightly, but after six months of intensive readings I’ve come to know  that the truth about the papacy is disgusting and that’s before you talk of the child molestations.

Our election is in less that six weeks and things are not looking good for our president.  He is an honest man who seeks reconciliation.  He simply cannot believe that Mitt Romney would stand on stage and lie through his teeth.  Unfortunately many Americans watch Fox news and believe all of the vitriol that is spewed.  Case in point is that four years later Sarah Palin is still a very potent force for evil.

I think this will be my last birthday commemoration.  Page and family are back and settled, I’ve had many opportunities to know all the kidlets and they to know me.

Update – February 21, 2013

I am in the process of cleaning up my files and in doing so found an opportunity to reread my comments.  Since there have been significant events I feel they need to be included.  Most significant is the fact that the pope resigned!!!!!!!!!!!!  Being my usual curious self I sought to find the reason.  In a nutshell it seems that the child abuse scandal is about to blow sky high.  A California judge ordered the release of 12,000 pages of documents that show how Bishop Mahoney begged and pleaded with the pope to take action even going so far as making a personal visit to Rome.  The pope did nothing.  Meanwhile Mahoney is accused in civil actions of continuing the cover up and will be deposed before he can go to Rome to vote on the new pope.  Think of it as a circular firing squad.

Benedict has been deep in the cover up since before he was pope and things are starting to unravel.  It first came to light with his butler leaking private papers last spring.  It really reminds me of Watergate.  Once the toothpaste is out of the tube it cannot be put back.  Unfortunately this scandal of scandals concerns the spiritual well-being of many people.  As a child in Catholic school I was taught by the nuns that the worst sin one could commit was to bring scandal to the church; the next worst was hypocrisy.  I can say no more.

The next significant event was the reelection of President Obama and his realization that there was no way he could bargain with the present Republican Party.  I predict that Obama will go down in history as one of our greatest presidents.  The Republicans lost the election and the party is dead on the vine.  It appears that Hillary Clinton my run in 2016 and her thinking is described as being similar to that of the former Republican Party before it was hijacked by the extreme right wing “tea party”.

The very vile Sarah Palin is no longer on Fox News, but still no one will call her on her stunning fake pregnancy.

Recently scientists suggest that the Higgs Boson may indicate that in several billion years the universe will cease to exist.  I guess it just comes and goes endlessly and why not?  I wonder where heaven fits into all of this.  Perhaps I am right – heaven is within each of us all along – we make our own heaven or hell and experience it daily.  I hope to make a bibliography that might interest someone exploring the same idea.

I continue to spin yarn and sold my entire inventory last week at FAB.